Chatterbox: Bloggers going AWOL: The Disappearing Act

May 30, 2014 by Jeann @ Happy Indulgence | Books, Chatterbox, Features

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When I first started blogging, I had a close bloggy friend who I would confide in and discuss blogging, reading, think up new ideas between each other and chat with regularly on Twitter, Goodreads, email and Facebook. As each of our blogs grew, so did our audiences.

Then, all of a sudden, my bloggy friend went poof and disappeared. I tried reaching out to her through email and all of the other social media channels, sincerely worried that something had happened to her. I contacted her in any way I could, and was worried for months on end. For someone who used to be really active on social media, you’d think that you’d hear something, at least get some hint of why she would disappear, but alas, I never did. Until a couple of months ago, when she reached out after ignoring all of my messages with “hey, what’s up?”. There was no sorry, no this is where I’ve been, no hey I’m okay. After all of my worry that something bad had happened to her, and getting nothing in response, I ended up not talking to this person again.

homer_disappear

Perhaps I took it a little bit personally, but that’s my fear with each and every one of you out there. Seeing and hearing from you through your blogs, your comments, and your presence on social media is how we communicate. But what really scares me about not ‘knowing’ you guys in real life, is that if anything bad ever happened to you, and no one posted on your blog/Twitter/etc. we would never know.

I get that real life gets in the way sometimes, and that it becomes busy or we just can’t bring ourselves to blog or keep up with social media anymore. Serious things can happen in our lives and the last thing we feel like doing is reaching out. It happens to all of us. It’s okay and I get it.

Online, bloggy, or not, you are all still my friends. There is nothing more jarring when one of you disappears into the aether and I visit your blog or goodreads/twitter there are no more posts. Just a trace of you and our comments that we have exchanged and I can only hope that you’re out there somewhere, and that you’re okay.

Please, if you’re going to do the disappearing act on us, just let your readers know. All it takes is a quick post to say you can’t blog anymore, state your reasons or not, but at least we’ll have some closure.

Have you ever had someone pull the disappearing act on you?

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Jeann is an Aussie blogger, gamer, reader who loves to read, write, fangirl, geek out and eat food. You can find me glued to one of my many mobile devices 24/7, or fangirling over the latest YA book, TV show, movie or game. Chat with me on Twitter @happyindulgence

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116 responses to “Chatterbox: Bloggers going AWOL: The Disappearing Act

  1. This post really made me feel guilty because ahm… I am one of those bloggers who suddenly disappeared from the blogging community without a note or something. T_T I hope that I didn't add further to your frustration for this blogger, Jeann. Otherwise, I am truly sorry. Rest assured though that if I was this blogger and you e-mailed me, I will find a way to reply even if it will take me a long time. But again, that doesn't change the fact that I am guilty.

    I hope that you have already recovered from this sad incident, Jeann! And thank you for this post because I've definitely learned something important. <333

    • Oh that's okay Charlotte, I just missed you when you were away, that's all! Plus your previous post kind of noted that you were afraid of stopping blogging because of the time involved, so I kind of suspected. Glad you are back though, but I hope you take it easy.

  2. I had this happen on Goodreads-I was a co-moderator for one of the groups over there and my co-moderator was really involved in the group-we'd talk online several times a day and worked really closely together to run the group. Then one day she just stopped responding-totally stopped posting on Goodreads and the group (that she helped put together). Me and the other moderators tried getting through to her via email/phone and she never responded. We were so worried about her, and thought she had died or something! And then several months later, she starts posting on Goodreads again (not on the group-she unsubscribed?!), and never responded when we sent her a new message asking if she was ok. Sooo weird!
    Finley Jayne recently posted…My Normally Scheduled Feature has Been Postponed, Because this Girl is Tired!My Profile

  3. Awh, that's awful Jeann!

    I've never actually thought of that happening. But now that I think of it, I'm not sure how I would react if something serious happened to one of my online bookish friends. And I would certainly be worried if someone I talked to heaps suddenly disappeared! I don't think you took it to personally, I probably would have done the same if I wasn't so forgiving.

    I actually just disappeared from the blog for a couple of weeks, but I kept all my social media up to date. But now, I have so many posts to comment on! Be prepared to be stalked.
    Brea @ Breezy Reads recently posted…Not Fangirling Over FangirlMy Profile

  4. Haha fair enough Leeanna, I actually noticed a bit but at least you are back 🙂 and keep us informed anyways. Aww that's sad, I have close gaming friends as well and some of us have drifted which is sad.

  5. I've let my blog (and most forms of social media) go silent for a few months here and there because of RL stuff, though I doubt anyone's noticed, haha. I haven't had blogging friends disappear because I haven't really connected with many bloggers yet, but I have seen this in other areas, including MMORPGs and online fandoms. I made some really, really good friends playing World of Warcraft over years, but have lost touch with all except one. It makes me sad, because we spent a ton of time together, and I exchanged contact details with some, but they just disappeared.

    My social life is 100% online, so that makes it harder. *sadface*
    Leeanna @ Leeanna.me recently posted…Book Review: The Herald (The Sundering #6) by Ed GreenwoodMy Profile

  6. You know yes I did! It wasn't a blog person it was a super active awesome goodreads friend that I had. We were always chatting via review and status comments and then one day her account was just poof gone/ deleted. Maybe it was during that big hubbub about goodreads censoring but I don't remember. I just know it made me really sad and like you worried. It's hard to make true friendships over the net but I really get attached to people. I talk about them to my local friends and to my husband and so when or if they were to disappear I would feel the same way as you. Like someone broke up with me and didn't tell me why.
    Tabitha (Not Yet Rea recently posted…Review: House of the Rising Sun by Kristen PainterMy Profile

  7. Oh gosh, yes. I've had this pulled on me but not with book blogger friends. Sometimes a friend just poofs away and I'm left wondering what happened or if I did something to make them do that. 🙁

    I've almost gone inactive a few times, mainly because life got in the way. It does happen, but I'll always find my way back somehow. 😛
    Ana @ Read Me Away recently posted…Monthly Digest for May/June: Busy Ana and ColdsMy Profile

  8. LIFE WILL NOT GO ON WITHOUT BLOGGING! I've really only just been making friends in the bloggy world, and now I honestly could not imagine how I did it before all of you! I've never really had a bloggy friend go AWOL, but I've seen a few of my old blog site faves go AWOL (kind of the same thing, just missing the posting is all, because you don't know the actual author of the posts). I've also seen and author go AWOL too, she wrote two books, then said she was writing the third, and poof, no one has heard from her since. No updates or anything, so people have given up on the author and the series (I really liked the first book too).

    I agree with you, at least if you post something in some form to say that you are going to be away for a while, but if you are quitting forever, then a proper blog post should be done. The closest thing I've gotten to AWOL is not catching up on comments, because I've had to schedule my posts for the entire week, knowing I wouldn't have internet.

    Great post! I shall not leave you 😀 *pinky promise*
    Gina @ Behind the Pa recently posted…Interview with Chloe Miles, author of the Faded trilogyMy Profile

    • I am so glad you have reached out to the rest of the bloggers now because we are a community! That is really scary about the author going AWOL, you just wonder what happened. What a shame that they never continued their series! Thank you Gina I'm glad you're here *hugs*

  9. Wow! I was just thinking about this while sitting in a bus the other day, with nothing better to do. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who's thinking about this. And I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. It's bad enough when our friends IRL disappear but usually we end up hearing at least something through the grapevine because someone knows someone who knows someone. So I get that this is a very real fear when you come to care about a blogging friend and have no other point of contact outside the Internet. I think this is a wonderful reminder to at least give a shout-out of some sort if we're going to unplug from our online lives for a while.
    Joséphine @ D recently posted…Negative Book Reviews Minus the NegativityMy Profile

    • I know, it's pretty freaky and weird when someone IRL disappears though, it has happened to me before. But yes, I think we'd all appreciate it if we kept each other in the loop if things do happen offline that we won't be on for a while.

  10. I had this happen to me not with a blogger friend but with an online forum friend. We talked on Skype all Summer and then he told me that he would be offline for a week or so. Turned out to be 3 months in which I was checking to see if he was online and became worried about him. He came back and then acted like nothing happened. Sometimes it is tough to have online friends because it's just so easy for them to cut you off.
    Stephanie@ThesePaper recently posted…Discussion: Reading Preference – New or Old Books?My Profile

  11. I'm trying to remember if that has ever happened to me but I don't think so! I think it's a bit rude and dissapointing that a person would just disappear like that without even saying goodbye! Yes, life can sometimes get I'm the way of blogging but a simple tweet or email back saying, "Hi Jeann, I'm okay! Just a little busy!" would have done so much! Especially since you tries reaching out to her so many times! There is a Filipino blogger I've noticed that just disappeared online though, she made that last review and she hasn't updated since and we're not close but you do wonder what has happened not her! Argh! Why can't they just do abhiatus or goodbye post or something?! Anyway, awesome discussion Jeann! I never really thought about this before now 🙂
    Amir recently posted…Convo Review: Inked Armor by Helena HuntingMy Profile

    • Absolutely especially if you used to talk a lot. I think I know the right one, it is Charlotte isn't it? I check her blog sometimes and wonder where she's gone, but I remember her posting up that she was getting a bit sick of blogging before. Thank you Amir!

  12. Aww that's so horrible that you never got any closure from that incident 🙁

    Thankfully, it's never happened to me, but I think that's only because I'm relatively new to the whole connecting with other bloggers thing. It'd definitely be a bit upsetting if people just disappeared without a word…
    Nara recently posted…Review: Witchfall by Victoria LambMy Profile

  13. This thankfully hasn't really happened to me for too long so it never has gotten to the stage where I've actually really worried. Sometimes I think hey, what's that person up to? But it's the fact that we don't know each other in real life that makes it hard to stay in contact. That's why I like events because it means you get to meet people and find new blogs. I think everyone's busy so it's understandable to disappear for a while. I know I do at times but I always put up a notice of some sort. b
    Francoise recently posted…Goodbye May, Hello June!My Profile

    • Events are so much fun Francoise because then your friendship can transition to real life as well. I think it's definitely understandable to take breaks here and there, but if you are quitting altogether to at least let someone know in some way shape or form.

  14. I don't think you took it too personally at all. I haven't been doing this long enough for someone to pull that kind of disappearing act on me, but I have already formed friendships with other bloggers that have progressed to regular emails, tweeting, etc., and I definitely consider them friends (in fact, I probably talk to them more than I talk to my friends that I've known for years). If we're friends, we're friends. There's no "real life" separation, and if one of my bloggy-friends suddenly vanished, I'd worry too.
    Jessica @ Rabid Read recently posted…Armchair BEA – Day 5, Middle Grade/Young AdultMy Profile

    • That's the great thing about blogging, the friendships that you form isn't it? I'm so glad you say so because that's how I feel, but it's obvious that some people don't feel the same way which is sad. Some of the friends I originally met online are some of my closest friends now because I talk to them everyday and we get to catch up 🙂

  15. I don't think I've ever had someone disappear without telling me prior, and I'm sorry that happened to you, Jeann 🙁

    I promise I will be around for a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time from now, and even if (for some unknown and unforeseen reason) I have to give up blogging, you have me on Facebook anyway ^.^

    I consider you a friend OUTSIDE of blogging and I cannot wait to hang out some more <3
    Chiara @ Books for a recently posted…It’s My Birthday!My Profile

    • Yay, I am so glad we have met and you are my friend Chiara! I'm so excited that we can meet up and watch movies together <3 Exactly, that's why I like Facebook 🙂

  16. I can think of a couple of blogger who started blogging back when I did, more or less, and that have dissapeared. Some left a message announcing the hiatus or quitting alltogether, some just dropping off the radar. It's kind of sad, especially if it's someone I really liked, but I've gone through this once before with a form I was very active on for years. People I was really buddies with slowly left the forum, some with a message or something, some just dropping out. I was a kind of heartbroken anyway, but at least you know they're quitting, nothing else… So I guess I'm prepared to see people go AWOL due to the forum experience thing (which I ended up going on hiatus on because pretty much everyone I'd been friends with had quit the place or gone on hiatus too… and sure, you can make new friends, but when almost none of your older ones are on anymore it's kinda sad to hang around there by yourself, lol….)
    Livia @ Butterfly-o- recently posted…Fate by Amanda HockingMy Profile

    • It is sad but I understand if blogging isn't for them anymore, but it's when they disappear without a trace that is worrying. I had a forum like that before too and over the years it slowly died, but most of them are on Facebook which is fine. One of the girls recently disappeared too, she closed down her Facebook and a friend even sent a letter to her address and it got returned. Which is really scary.

  17. Unfortunately I've found that the more time I spend blogging the more people disappear. I did a disappearing act myself but did put on my blog that I needed a break. There are a few ex-bloggers out there that i don't know what happened to though, it does make me wonder.

    Under The Mountain

    • That's kind of sad, cos you think of the lovely friendships you have formed and maybe 6 months later they will all be different. At least you did let people know that you needed a break, that's different to disappearing.

  18. I know, it was really weird how that happened. That's good she gave an explanation at least! That is really scary because you don't know what could happen. Oh I hope she is alright Ikao!

  19. Thank you Ki Pha, I often hear people hopping back on and off and think it's fine as long as they are balancing their real life with what they can do with blogging. I appreciate your other perspective though!

  20. Fair enough, it makes you feel a sense of loss after being close friends before isn't it? That's so true, if you talk to them everyday especially on Twitter and stuff as well, you do get to know them. Thank you for letting us know you'll write a post Lisa if it ever happened.

  21. This freaks me out too. But first, that's so weird that that person did that to you-and so randomly came back without saying anything else. I remember a year ago I had 80% different blog readers and commenters than I do now because they'll all disappeared! It's so weird, I visit all their stuff and see they haven't even been on much less posted and I can't help but feel a little upset because like in your situation, these are people you get to know pretty well. Downside of the Internet, I suppose. That's kind of another bonus of a coblogger, you can tell them when you are going to be absent and they still post/let everyone know even if it was an emergency or something. Great topic!
    Alise recently posted…Review: Dreams of Gods & MonstersMy Profile

    • It's so lovely you have an awesome co-blogger that you have a great relationship with to because you know you're both in it for the longer run. Wow that is really weird Alise, I guess a lot of them tend to move on after a 1 or 2 years don't they?

  22. Of course Jules, especially if you talk often! *hugs back*. As long as you at least mention something on your blog or Twitter or whatever, people will know that you are around and not worry. I can see that you are stressing about other things though and it's sometimes a good thing to take a break from your blog 🙂

  23. Thank you Ebony, it is a pretty crappy feeling isn't because you don't know them personally 🙁 I'm glad this will serve as a reminder to everyone. Thanks for reading!

  24. I have been there Jeann, and like you I think of my online friends as my real friends beyond bookish stuff. I genuinely care and when they are missing I worry. That is why when I am sick or going off line on vacation I post about it on social media sites or make mention of it on my blog. Several bloggers I adore have gone MIA and you are right..when I reach out and they don't respond I worry. Eventually I find out they got bored or are taking a break..but those who do this do not feel the same as we do. Will I change? No, I am a nurturer and tend to care too much, so I will continue to worry.
    kimbacaffeinate recently posted…Miss Mabel’s School for Girls by Katie CrossMy Profile

    • That's so true Kimba, I'm glad us talkable bloggers feel the same way. But as long as you let people know what you're up to, on the off chance that someone out there might care, at least you saved them from the stress you know?

  25. Wow, RUUDDE. You can't just leave people hanging like that! D: I've definitely had a bloggy friend who disappeared as well. I remember her telling me that she'd be moving to WordPress and then she'd be back. And then she never came back. To this very day, I'm not quite sure what happened. I'm sure she's okay but in that moment, it was extremely worrying! Hopefully, no one does this again!
    Laura Plus Books recently posted…Friday Reads: Breakable FiresMy Profile

    • I'm glad someone else said it, because sometimes I wonder if my feelings are justified or if I'm taking things too personally. It does sound really worrying but it sounds like it is quite common in the online world isn't it?

  26. That was really inconsiderate of your friend. Even if you are taking a social media break, if someone is sending you a million messages you'd think you'd respond. I agree with you, if someone is taking a break they should do a post/ tweet/whatever saying so. I've never had this happen to me, but I've seen heaps of post from people saying they are taking a blog break and that's fine, at least they didn't just disappear for awhile without saying anything. I told my husband if anything were to happen to me he would have to go on my blog/twitter/tumblr and tell everyone!
    Rochelle Sharpe recently posted…Stepping Out With ‘House For All Seasons’ By Jenn J. McLeod. #AWW2014My Profile

    • Thanks for agreeing, I didn't know whether it was just me. I see people saying blogging is not for them anymore, or that they're not going to do it anymore and although I will miss their blog, they need to do whats right for them. Thanks for telling your hubby about it.

  27. That makes me glad that we have so many different social media platforms at our fingertips to get in touch. But when they disappear everywhere, including email and personal facebook, that's when it gets really worrying. I'm glad you feel the same Mel.

  28. Thanks Cristina, it sounds like you're very busy most of the time but at least I see you on Twitter and stuff every now and then. Thank you Cristina, I think she is when she finally returned.

  29. That's exactly right, at least Twitter is a small thing to do right? yeah, I found it really weird as well, especially since I even had her on Facebook and everything. Other people were calling out to her too and she didn't even respond to them until months later.

  30. Exactly, I will be the same as well especially being able to access things on my PC. That's so true Dre, but I guess after that experience I didn't really want it to happen again after that trauma you get what I mean?

  31. Thank you Larissa, that's exactly how I feel as well. It's really scary isn't it? All we can do as a community is to keep each other in the loop and mutual respect.

  32. I agree with this- it totally worries me! Even if it is just someone I follow regularly, I do think that something bad could have happened. I mean, I put so much time and effort into blogging, I can't imagine just running away without a quick explanation. At least, I would throw up a quick post saying "personal problems/sickness/whatever be back when I can, thanks for understanding". I will now tell my husband that if I keel over, to let my blog know! And it is insanely rude not to respond to you, no matter what. A quick message to let you know she was okay would have sufficed. The ignoring your concerns was just wrong!

    Also, I have been thinking of doing a hiatus of sorts for my other (mom) blog. I (confession coming!) kind of loathe that community, and it has stopped being fun. But I will certainly let people know if I do! As for book blogging, no way I will be going anywhere! I love it too much!
    Shannon @ It Starts recently posted…Tea Party Tag with The Notebook Sisters!!My Profile

    • Absolutely, it's happened to a few friends of mine now that I used to be closed too and when their personal facebook closes down you know there's something wrong. I'm glad you will keep us informed Shannon, thank you for doing that. Even if she came back after a long time and then responded it would have been fine, but just ignoring it didn't sit well with me. If you do a hiatus there, I'm glad you'll consider letting everyone know because at least people won't be worried.

  33. That's true Amanda, I guess if you do care about them and whether they are ok it's alright to reach out! Glad to hear and even if you were, you would know to let us know 🙂

  34. Exactly, at least you were still on Twitter and let us know that you were there. Gah, it's so true when that happens isn't it 🙁 makes me sad about the connection that you've formed obviously doesn't mean as much to them.

  35. THANK YOU CAIT. I'm glad someone out there can relate, I keep on thinking maybe I am too attached or sensitive but it's true! It's the fear and the not knowing.

  36. Yeah I guess sometimes they think that no one else would care if they just disappeared, or other things are definitely making them preoccupied to think about it. But at least if they end up getting back to you somehow then you will know they are ok.

  37. I hope no one ever does Celine and if they did, at least you would know about it! I don't mean small absences, or even the ones where you're not on social media or whatever for a while. But yes if someone reaches out definitely reply!

  38. I know right, and if they disappeared at least let us know or something! I do like instagram and whatsapp, I'm glad social media these days is so far reaching and extensive.

  39. I can understand, I made many friends at the Star Wars boards and it was very upsetting when I lost contact with some of them. Even more when we had met up in person and hang out together…

    I pretty promise to let you guys know one way or another if I'm gonna be taking a temporary or permanent break from the blogosphere!
    Pili recently posted…Friday Reads: ARC Review Paranoia by J.R. Johansson!My Profile

    • Thank you Pili, I'm glad you will do the same. I know what you mean, I've made a lot of friends from my gaming community too and we've been friends for so many years now.

  40. Yes! An author that was supposed to have a spotlight and giveaway on the blog – we were corresponding well, it was all working out … Then the deadline passed for them to respond to my spotlight questions… I reached out…I ran the review and said I'd hold the rest until they reconnected…and they haven't yet! No activity on the other social media platforms…it IS very worrying! You can't help but hope that nothing drastic and terrible has happened to them.
    Bruce Gargoyle recently posted…Review and Author Spotlight and GIVEAWAY!: Ghost Hand…My Profile

    • Oh my, that's actually happened to me before and I found it really weird as well. I mean publicity would be really important to them right? Funny how it's human nature to prepare ourselves for the worst automatically.

  41. I agree with you so much on this. I have some friends who I only know online and not in real life. I'm always so concerned that if something happened to them I wouldn't know it or vice versa. I think of them as real friends, if they think the same as me I'd hope to at least to get a message or update that they won't be around online as much. I know I'd be worried to death about them if they disappeared without a word.
    Megan Nicole recently posted…Waiting on Wednesday: Blackbird by Anna CareyMy Profile

  42. Hmm, that's frustrating and seems like a not very nice thing to do! Luckily, I've never had a OL friend just go AWOL, but I definitely agree with you that online friends are still "real" friends and at least deserve the common courtesy of a reply or msg, especially when said other friend is worried! Definitely not that hard to say, "oh hey, sorry peeps, I won't be around that much." right?

    Thanks for sharing, Jeann!
    Cyn @ Book Munchies recently posted…Review: The Art of Lainey by Paula StokesMy Profile

  43. Oh yes, this has happened to me a couple of times, but at least I could find them on other platforms. It just makes me sad when someone disappears. It gives me the idea they have a feeling that nobody will notice they are gone? Because why wouldn't you at least say goodbye?

    Even when I can only talk to most of you guys online, doesn't mean I don't see you all as a friend 😀 So yes, leaving without a trace is not okay to me.
    Mel@thedailyprophecy recently posted…Armchair BEA: Beyond the borders.My Profile

  44. Omg, Jean you just took the words out of my mouth. I've always had this thought in my mind that if somebody died (yes, very dark. But when you're worried about the sudden disappearance by somebody you've grown close to, your mind tends to go to the worst scenario) I wouldn't have any way of really knowing 😮 I'm sorry that a disappearing act happened to you, but I totally understand how you feel. Don't worry girl, I'll always be floating around (:

    Great post!
    Larissa Holt recently posted…Discussing Through Midnight (34): Women Who Should Get Their Own BooksMy Profile

  45. Totally agree on this – I always get worried when someone disappears into the ether, and really there's no way of knowing what's happened! A quick post mentioning a hiatus, or even a twitter status saying SOMETHING is all it'd take.

    I find it quite weird that person didn't respond to any of your messages, especially since you guys used to talk so much!!! And then to just message you out of nowhere and not acknowledge the disappearing act? Weird indeed!
    Allie @ Little Birdi recently posted…Review: The Storyteller {Antonia Michaelis}My Profile

  46. Thanks for being our voice, Jeann! I had a similar experience when I first started blogging and it didn't sit well with me. It's like "I thought we were friends but apparently you didn't think so". It certainly wasn't a good feeling… 🙁
    Henrietta recently posted…The Art Of Lainey – Paula StokesMy Profile

  47. Yes and YES! I had so many bloggers disappear, it's sad. I understand the pressure of blogging and reviews but I really wish that there would be some sort of "heads up" when they're overwhelmed. I really appreciate it when bloggers post about their busy life and that they are going through some stuff.

  48. Oh Jeann, I could not agree more! It does worry me too when some of my favourite bloggers and friends vanish without a trace, it's difficult, because you don't want to bombard them with worry, but you also don't want them to think you don't care, so where's the line? It's difficult and trust me, I'm goodbye'd people and taken it personally, and it's a shame, but I don't plan on going anywhere! 🙂
    Amanda @ Book Badger recently posted…Five Friday Favourites #17 – Not-So-Favourite Popular BooksMy Profile

  49. I promise I won't pull a disappearing act on you <3 Although it's practically impossible for me to actually pull one because I am so addicted to the internet. Plus I usually let the world know (by either saying or whining :P) if I am going to be on a 'mini-break'.

    I know what you mean though, I worry about everyone and when someone disappears I always become a little worried. .-.

    I am sorry this happened to you though, Jeann 🙁 it sucks that they didn't at least inform you *sigh*

    *pats you*
    Rashika recently posted…Random Things in Motion #2: Philosophizing Death (a.k.a.) How easy it is to say “die, you, villain, you!”My Profile

  50. It isn't until recently that I've started making bloggy friends, so I haven't experienced this yet, but I would be so, so scared if this happened! I treat all of the friends I make here as part of a bookish family, and I wouldn't want anyone to suddenly disappear without notice! Personally, I'd at least leave a quick blog post and tweet if I have other things to attend to and won't be present on social media. I don't want to give anyone a heart attack from my sudden disappearance!
    Aimee @ Deadly Darli recently posted…Review: Dangerous Creatures by Kami Garcia and Margaret StohlMy Profile

  51. When something ever happens to me *God forbid*, it will be all over the social media, for sure! I will tell my family to do it. My iPad will be the key! All my stuff are logged in on there, so they just have to know the lock code. I've had people disappear online, too, but some of them just sprout right back. I'm really sorry about your friend, though. I wish you could've asked questions. She might've undergone something serious, like something really personal, and couldn't tell you right away. She might even be reading this. 🙂
    Dre @ Sporadic Reads recently posted…Kate’s Random Musings #001 : Beach GetawayMy Profile

  52. First, as always, I love a good, thought-provoking post!

    I've been known to take a break here and there. Currently, at this very moment I'm waiting for a flight to travel for work. I live at the airport. Sometimes life gets a bit overwhelming for me with working full time, going to school and trying to keep up with reviews too. I will definitely disappear but if someone reached out…I would totally write back.

    I might take a hiatus but it doesn't me I wouldn't respond to an email or any other forms of communication.

    🙂

    PS: hopefully this blogger that has disappeared from the book universe is okay and safe.
    Cristina recently posted…A Break from Books….X-Men: Days of Future PastMy Profile

  53. Well, I did it for a couple months so yeah… O_O But hey at least I'm still on twitter so it's not that bad, right? xD I would definitely feel worried if one of my bloggy friends suddenly disappear without leaving a trace. I mean, I am already worried with this blogger even though I know the reason behind her lack of posting or tweeting… Sometimes you are so used to talking to someone or visiting their blog that it feels strange when they're gone.
    Kezia recently posted…HELLO!!!! ^^ I’m back! *waves*My Profile

  54. I hear ya, sista! I've had a similar experience. A certain blogger and I used to be very close, chatting every day… then things just changed, and now I very rarely ever hear from her. I still visit her blog now and then and comment on her posts, but it's VERY rare that she returns the favor and visits mine back. I don't know, maybe is she visiting my blog and reading my posts, but I wouldn't know because she never posts.

    I think we all tend to get close to our bloggy friends. Yes, we've never met. And yes, it's hard to keep a relationship going with someone you don't really "know", at least on a personal level. But when you visit people's blogs and read their posts every day, taking the time to post and add your thoughts, you kind of get to know a person.

    Okay, I'm rambling… let's just say I agree. 🙂 I promise, if I ever decide to stop blogging, or disappear for a period of time, I will write a post. Last year I became very ill for several months and was unable to blog, and as soon as I was able to I did post up letting people know that. I was so worried about losing my followers/friends, and honestly, I did lose some. But the important ones stuck around. 🙂
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  55. I totally understand your fear. At least they should give an explanation after go back to active their blog. There's a blogger that suddenly lost from twitter and blog, but when she came back she gave an explanation why she had been gone for months. She said her city got power outage because of flooding disaster. At least she told everyone why she couldn't online. It's scary if someone missing without any information. I have a friend from cosplay community who now is missing from all her social media (facebook, twitter, cosplay.com, even her whatsapp). The last time I met her was last October on cosplay con. All my friends can't contact her. We all are afraid, I'm scared that something bad happened and no one is able to give information.

  56. I can totally understand your fears. I have them too. I had good pen pals back in the day and sometimes they just stopped replying to me all together. And I was sad. We only had contact through our written letters and just had our emails in case we hadn't heard of each other in months, but she didn't reply to those either. So I gave up. I hate losing people who you have a connection with, even if they are your online bloggy friends 🙂
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  57. I'm sorry you had to experience this, Jeann! I have been through a similar experience, so I can sympathise with you. It was such a horrible feeling worrying about someone and knowing that you can't do anything more than you've already done to ensure that they are okay.

    However, I think it's great that you decided to post about it as this will remind people to let their friends and readers know when they will be away for a longer amount of time than what may be normal.

    Thanks for sharing, Jeann! 🙂
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  58. Awww, i find it sweet that someone would care extent even if they haven't met in real life *hugs Jeann*

    I'm kinda guilty with this one, I'm the kind of person that tends to prioritize studies over blogging (but I still read tho :D), it happened that I haven't been in my blog for more than one month. But I made it a point to explain why I went AWOL all of a sudden. Tho I am also worried right now. The University I'm going to is really hardcore (and I mean failure is expected), I'm afraid that I might now have time to blog anymore because of it, but I get what you mean, and I understand why it could get upsetting. I'm praying that I could balance studies and blogging, so I won't go AWOL all of a sudden.
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  59. Yep, having been a part of different blog and online communities I have noticed when people disappear and if I feel we've been close or good friends I will usually send them an email to let them know I miss them to just to see if they're ok.

    I suppose sometimes people don't think about the people who might wonder about them? Or something comes up and blogging/letting people know is the last thing on their mind?

    Mands @ The Bookish Manicurist
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  60. Annnnnd you've just managed to portray my own fears exactly! I'm always worried something will happen to any of my bloggy friends and I'll have no way of knowing. Thankfully, no one has ever pulled the disappearing act on me (yet)! I know that sometimes I'm a bit absent myself for a while, but that's merely because school's so freaking busy. And if someone reaches out to me, I'll always spare a few seconds to let that person know I'm still alive.

    Great post, Jeann <33
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  61. Yes! Several of my goodreads friends have deleted their accounts or lost contact and we've hardly spoken again! I get so sad to think that something that we once had has become nothing more than memories of fangirling and excitedly talking about books.

    Nonetheless, I keep meeting new people and everyone is so lovely and excited to talk fandoms, book crushes, release dates and hot actors. 😀

    HERE'S MY LOVE TO ALL BOOK LOVERS AND FANGIRLS/BOYS OUT THERE!

  62. Wow, I don't think have ever been so close to someone like that before so have no experience with how it made you feel and I'm sorry you had experienced that. I have had blogger drop blogging but we at least had a notification of it and they do hop back on and off through out the months.

    Unfortunately I might be one of those folks who checks up on folks randomly so sorry if I disappear for a long amount of time and then suddenly show up again in a post.
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  63. Yes! This scares the crap out of me! I'm always afraid that one of my friends (like you!) will disappear and no one will have a clue what happened! That's why I like other forms of communication like Instagram and What's App as additional ways to keep in contact as there's more of a chance of staying properly connected with a person outside of their blog and twitter!
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  64. Thankfully this has never happened to me. I have a bunch of friends from the writing, reading, Nerdfighter and Harry Potter communities, and if we stop communicating, it's usually a mutual thing – growing apart, I suppose. This would absolutely suck 🙁 I'm sorry it happened to you. I hereby promise to never pull a disappearing act – I love the internet and my online friends too much!
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  65. Oh Jeann, I'm not going anywhere. It's me isn't it. Don't be afraid, you won't lose me.

    I haven't been online all that long (apart from eBay) and have only formed friendships within the last year, but I can certainly feel your pain. You do form bonds with others, especially over books and common interests and if someone like yourself (who's not a blogger, but a friend) dropped off the radar, I'd panic.

    I see so many blogs that haven't been updated in over a year, no notices or announcements and I always wonder who's missing them. It's sad *big hugs Jeann*
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  66. Yes, yes, yes 🙁 There was this one person from Sweden, I think, who I enjoyed talking to a lot on Goodreads and on Twitter. I'm not going to say her name here to protect her identity, but I loved that person a lot as a friend – she commented on my stuff, I commented on hers, we e-mailed each other, etc. etc. and then one day she just stopped posting. Twitter, Goodreads, Email – EVERYTHING. To the point that her domain eventually expired, and her twitter account is a ghost town. It honestly scares me. There are days I wonder if something may have happened to her, but I'll never know 🙁 There's that worst case scenario in my head that I can't help but think of sometimes. I'll never, ever pull a disappearing act (unless something bad happened to me cause that would be out of my control!) without telling you guys. I know how it feels and it sucks. HUGS, JEANN!!!
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