So I had the crappiest weeks of ever, and I almost went on a blogging break to deal with everything in real life. It wasn’t actually the blogging that was the problem, but it was that I wasn’t taking time out to relax when I came home from work. It would pretty much mean working a 9-5 job, coming home and sitting at the computer until 12 midnight blogging, commenting, and everything else that comes with it. That includes weekends.
Needless to say, I wasn’t spending enough quality time with my partner or getting enough me time. From one thing to another, I pretty much never switched off. It began to affect my sleeping patterns, my mood, and my energy levels. And triggered some stress related health problems.
I announced to a few friends that I was taking a blogging break. And you know what happened? As soon as I announced it, and allowed myself the time to rest and relax, my mindset changed. Why should I take a break from something I find therapeutic and that I really enjoy? Why should I cut myself off from friends and from conversations that lift my mood on Twitter? There’s no one standing at the door expecting me to respond to them straight away. Page views don’t matter. The most important thing that matters is your health, your wellbeing, and your relationships.
While blogging may have been the trigger for these issues occurring, it’s the sign of an underlying issue. I lead a busy life, bouncing between work, friends, my partner and family. On top of all that, I’m constantly reading, blogging, planning, having conversations, gaming, reviewing, gymming. Where’s the time left to sit down and relax with a book? Where’s the time where I simply just zone out and relax? For those of you who recognise the signs, it’s anxiety that doesn’t allow your brain to relax or switch off. It’s the anxiety of thinking that if I step back, if I let go, that I’d be forgotten, that people would move on and that I’d lose what makes me happy. Which of course, sounds ridiculous when I see these words on paper.
This isn’t something a blogging break will fix. This is a long time issue that I’ve struggled with, knowing that I can get absorbed and fixated on things and over commit my time and the energy. It’s an inability to be self aware, to know when I’m getting tired and to know when I just have to say NO and to look after myself. It’s not up to my friends, my partner, or others to pick up on these signs and to tell me that I need to step back. It’s up to myself, because I’m the one that’s meant to look after myself.
At the end of the day, I need to be kind to myself. I need to look after myself. Let’s just say it’s a work in progress.